Single Parenting

10 FAQ'S About Single Parenting*

1. Where can I live with my baby?
You should look into your housing options before having your baby. Try to find a safe environment to raise your child. Look for something convenient and affordable. If you are a student, contact your school to ask if your school offers day care (many high schools and most Universities offer a day-care program). Your pregnancy counselor at CPC will do all she can to help you explore your options.

2. Can anyone help me with baby items?
Many churches and Community Service Centers offer free assistance with much needed baby items. At the Community Pregnancy Center, we have opportunities for you to earn valuable items for your new child with our 2Be Program. After meeting with your counselor for individual sessions, you earn points to obtain cribs, baby monitors, and car seats. Talk to your counselor to learn more about the Crib Awards Program.

3. How do I get support from the birth father?
The birth father is legally responsible to provide financial support for your child. Most states have a child support enforcement agency which will withhold money from the birth father's paycheck if he refuses to pay support. It is important that you understand that your child is entitled to his financial support, even if the father opposed your choice to give birth.

4. What rights does the father have?
In some states, the birth father's name is not even put on the birth certificate unless you want it to be. If he has signed a notarized paternity affidavit, he has legal rights, including visitation and the right to deny or consent to medical decisions for your child. Discuss his rights and responsibilities with your counselor, attorney, or the Department of Social Services. You and the child's father should also discuss with each other your individual rights and responsibilities. A child's needs are best met with birth parents working together.

5. I don't want to be on welfare.
Having a baby does not have to mean that you will end up as a welfare mother, even if you are poor and single. Although it may be more difficult to continue your studies while you are caring for an infant, many women complete their educations and go on to have fulfilling and exciting careers even while doubling as mothers. Many find that having a child increases one's motivation to succeed. Organizations like Nurturing Network (1-800-TNN-4MOM) exist solely to help students and aspiring professional women complete their goals while facing an unplanned pregnancy.

6. Can I be forced to quit school?
Most schools encourage you to continue your education. Many educational programs for parents offer night classes, and in many large cites there are high schools especially for pregnant and parenting teens. Some schools offer loans, childcare, and even transportation. You may decide to take a semester off while you adjust to single parenting, but your educational goals are still reachable. No one can force you to quit school.

7. How will single parenting affect my dating?
Parenting may limit your dating. When you choose to parent, your child will need most of your time and attention. Some people you date may not want to share your attention with a child, while other people will not mind that you're parenting. Before getting into a serious relationship, consider the affects on your child. Try to balance freedom and responsibility -- you will still need to allow yourself some "me time" without your child.

8. How do I explain to my child why there is no father in our home?
Explain that because of complicated circumstances, he is unable to be part of your family. Because of today's high divorce rates, chances are your child will have many peers with only one parent in the home. You need to talk as positively about the other parent as you can without being dishonest. Even if you don't like him, he is someone special to your child. Encourage other male role models in your child's life. How your child perceives caring adults of either sex will affect how he or she will relate to others as an adult.

9. What rights do grandparents have?
State laws vary about grandparents' custody and visitation rights. By law, birth parents are the only ones who have rights and responsibilities toward the child. Grandparents, however, are important people in your child's life and history. They can also be very helpful. Look on their help, however, as a temporary solution as it is important for you to be independent eventually. If you do live with your parents, they have a right to insist on a few rules.

10. Can I still choose adoption later if parenting doesn't work out?
If single parenting becomes too difficult and you decide to look into adoption, you are not a bad parent. It takes courage to realize that you are not ready for the responsibility of parenthood. But separating from a child with whom you have bonded is difficult. A trusted and wise counselor can help you and your child through this process. Look for an agency that can both help you continue parenting and, if you decide it's best, help you make an adoption plan that you can live with. Ask about "open" adoption, which can still allow for you to see your child. We can help you with any of these decisions at the center--contact us.

*Adapted from: "Single Parenting: Ten FAQ's About Single Parenting," Bethany Productions, 1997

 

TIME OUT FOR SINGLE MOMS

Many single mothers today do not have anyone to help support and encourage them with raising their children. Time Out offers that support by setting aside time for single moms to come together and support each other through discussing areas of difficulty and getting advice from one another. Time Out also offers a topic for each meeting. The topics covered in the meetings include child growth and development, caring for the children, finances, and other topics relative to the needs of the single mother and her child. Most of all the hope and love of Christ is shared. This group meets quarterly at 6:30pm at the New Covenant Church. Babysitting and a light meal are provided. Please call the center for more information at 513-424-2229.